BLOG
Monday, May 19, 2008, 12:07 am
various people, various personalities.
i play different roles in life. with different people, i have different personalities. i know at least four major once, however, hardly any of them are true. or perhaps they are all true, but just not 100%. they are all probably just one little part of me that is released whenever im with certain people... once, i thought that i was finally being me. i could finally be me. however, i realised. when i could be me, it didnt came easy. the more me i was. the more prone to hurt i get. when i am me in front of the group of frens. i get more hurt when something goes wrong. this familiarity. this warmth. this closeness. this friendship. it is great when we are having fun. however, when something changes, it skips the middle stage and goes more prone to hatred instead of neutrality. good or bad. i hav no idea as well.
im struggling to not let it get into hatred. however, everything just turned so foreign. things just seemed to change. i feel im no longer part of 'the holy trinity'. no matter how much effort i put in. no matter what i do. no matter how much struggle im undergoing. no one seems to noe...ok dunno y but i just felt like typing the whole chunk out. well. choose to ignore. doesnt matter. call me emo call me strange. anything... zzz. im just plain sian of everything. not being rewarded. not being recognized. ties down by personal feelings. blah blah blah. sometimes just wan2 close my eyes and dream of a happy ending. and nvr having to come out of that dream...
我们曾经那么精彩。我们曾经那么期待。最后你把回忆换我。
我以为我已咬紧了牙关。但是我为何还无法地飘流。。。
Saturday, May 17, 2008, 3:40 pm
lol just came bak from level. =D after the past two years of horrible level camps, this year's one finally went on well. had lotsa fun and really got tgt with 3Lmos =) lol esp winston. haha. he was dam cute during the trip (with all the craziness and zi high over tai di) lol. we really got high esp on the last night (talent night) and even sang the whole 45 min bus ride back to the hotel =D im really glad that everything went on great, even though it was not 100% smooth sailing. shall post some pics up another day =)
lol im going crazy over mayday songs le =)
我们曾经那么精彩,但我已经咬紧了牙关,继续飘流。
Friday, May 09, 2008, 8:35 pm
lol nowadays i guess im blogging less haha but wells. today item committee results were released. just as i predicted so not much anticipation. haha. shimin is the new chair =) lol chair seriously dam hiong but she can handle bah =D anyways, im pleased with myself =) did exceptionally well this semester (although it is seriously tyco but haha). my gpa will be higher than anything ive ever gotten lol. ok lah. nth much. wells. im looking forward to next week. level camp!!! haha im staying with jane =) so gonna spam cards and all the games. sure hope that 3Lmo will bond much more. the interclass was really good and i can say that we are much closer now =)
i noe in my heart that i mind but i pretend i dun because i dun wan to mind... believe that everything will go on well...
Sunday, May 04, 2008, 10:12 pm
lol its been a few days since i blogged. ok im officially crazy over 五月天. lol their songs are dam good. anyways, have been dam busy lately. hardly have time to even catch a breath. last week, was down for cs duty, something screwed up so i was pulled down last minute. and i really mean last minute by that i only got notice on the very day. there went my 30 april and 1 may. did hist proj and went down for cs on 1 may. no holiday for me. then on fri, cca sorta just screwed. once again the same very person had to say something and screw up my day. maybe u noe who she is maybe u dun. anyways tat aint the point. ytd. spent more than 12 hours at hdb hub audi for eds concert. ok lah it was not tat bad just tat i cant do any work. today. had vid meeting then hist meeting. only reached home at like seven. which meant i only started on my work at 7 pm. and guess wat, i just finished my ying yong wen which was supposed to be due on fri... haiz. busy life... actually all these a bit meaningless for some. but well...
i just bought a book called 'think smart act smart' i think im in great need of it. lol nic was shocked when i told her i bought the book and showed it to her during hist proj today. haha. hope it helps and somehow let me 'find my north star even though im 5,000 lightyears away' =) lol decided not to be emo on my blog so tata! =D