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Thursday, January 15, 2009, 9:10 pm
lol im finally able to post again... school's been really hectic recently. hahas seems like everything just came crashing. am extremely tired and drained now... last week was orientation (hahas many complains but nvm) and this week is spent working on today's debate.
hahas had a debate today at the treasury building... well, for first timers i felt that i did not too badly even though i could have been much better... took up too many POIs and missed out a whole point...screwed the thing up and lost to HCI in the end... haiz... really sorry to wenting, xue xue, mr bennet lim and ms nancy ng... and of course to all those who gave us their support...
realise im tied with many expectations and fear of disappointments recently. be it from myself or from others... the importance of my mid-year grade, esp my chem... if i really lose tat scholarship, i will prob disapoint many... thought that i had the mental preparation having predicted it from last year eoys. but when hope came again that i may be able to use mid years, and came crashing again when mrs chu told me to get mentally prepared, i realised all was gone. all the "preparedness" was crap. im still lost and confused...haiz. also having lost today's debate i already feel many disappointments... i seriously hate these scholarship thing that i totally have no interest for... it is now just grades grades and more grades...and the ironic thing is the fac that i wan2 enter, hardly even requires grades...
how i wish i can turn back the clock and take O levels. then i will be able to go poly and take the course that i like... of course that is impossible now... really confused now. seems like i belong no where. or should i say im at a place where i really dun belong...
how i wish i can just get away from all these and start doing the things i like...but then again, who am i...
总有出头天的那一天。人生不怕海浪,只怕自己无志气~~~