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Monday, May 19, 2008, 12:07 am
various people, various personalities.
i play different roles in life. with different people, i have different personalities. i know at least four major once, however, hardly any of them are true. or perhaps they are all true, but just not 100%. they are all probably just one little part of me that is released whenever im with certain people... once, i thought that i was finally being me. i could finally be me. however, i realised. when i could be me, it didnt came easy. the more me i was. the more prone to hurt i get. when i am me in front of the group of frens. i get more hurt when something goes wrong. this familiarity. this warmth. this closeness. this friendship. it is great when we are having fun. however, when something changes, it skips the middle stage and goes more prone to hatred instead of neutrality. good or bad. i hav no idea as well.
im struggling to not let it get into hatred. however, everything just turned so foreign. things just seemed to change. i feel im no longer part of 'the holy trinity'. no matter how much effort i put in. no matter what i do. no matter how much struggle im undergoing. no one seems to noe...ok dunno y but i just felt like typing the whole chunk out. well. choose to ignore. doesnt matter. call me emo call me strange. anything... zzz. im just plain sian of everything. not being rewarded. not being recognized. ties down by personal feelings. blah blah blah. sometimes just wan2 close my eyes and dream of a happy ending. and nvr having to come out of that dream...
我们曾经那么精彩。我们曾经那么期待。最后你把回忆换我。
我以为我已咬紧了牙关。但是我为何还无法地飘流。。。
